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Fleeting Feelings is a collection of twelve flash fictions by seven authors, namely Chethana Nagulapalli, Harsha Modukuri, Gayatri Sharma, Maneesha Pujari, Mounika Kodeboina, Pooja Jonnalagadda, & R. S. Chintalapati. The flash fictions in this collection have been chosen based on two facets. The first facet is that the characters are emotionally driven, and the second is how the idea conveyed through each story flips by the end. |
Cover Photo by Pankaj Tottada
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Her Choice
Is being rejected painful? Can one be contented being a second choice? Should the rejected put others through the same pain when the tables are turned? Can individuals treat the rest like an option when they have been treated as one?
“Her Choice” by Chethana Nagulapalli explores these questions through two characters in a love-hate relationship by keeping its readers fixated between oscillating emotions.
“Her Choice” by Chethana Nagulapalli explores these questions through two characters in a love-hate relationship by keeping its readers fixated between oscillating emotions.
It was just another normal day at college until lunch break because out of nowhere he came and stood before me proposing in the corridor that led to our class. It was unbelievable to even realise how the moment I had wished for years didn’t make any difference when it really happened. We had been friends since the first year of our bachelors and it was no secret that I admired him so much that all of our friends teased us observing our dynamic, from the first semester itself.
He honestly had a lasting impression on me ever since we first met. Maybe I was too gullible back then or maybe he really had a vibe that somehow made me feel I was pretty close to him for no reason and life felt like a fairy tale with love in the air.
In the first year, I didn’t say a word but always hoped he would propose, but he didn’t. In the second year, my love towards him kept on increasing and my hopes were off the charts considering how we were now seniors and couples popped up everyday in our class, but he didn’t. Not wanting to waste a single day in our third year, I proposed on the very first day of our fifth semester, but to my surprise, he mentioned that I wasn’t the love of his life.
Maybe because I didn’t even think that could be a response, I was shattered. I felt a pain that couldn’t be explained and with every passing moment, I had this terrific realisation that my dreams will just continue being dreams and nothing more. My crazy ideas of us being together had in fact no place in the face of reality and there I was, lonely and rejected.
It took a long time to accept the truth that he doesn’t have any feelings for me and in this journey, I realised this was neither the end nor was it even such a big deal. I understood that it was just my presumptions and misunderstandings that lead to this bitter spot in my life.
He honestly had a lasting impression on me ever since we first met. Maybe I was too gullible back then or maybe he really had a vibe that somehow made me feel I was pretty close to him for no reason and life felt like a fairy tale with love in the air.
In the first year, I didn’t say a word but always hoped he would propose, but he didn’t. In the second year, my love towards him kept on increasing and my hopes were off the charts considering how we were now seniors and couples popped up everyday in our class, but he didn’t. Not wanting to waste a single day in our third year, I proposed on the very first day of our fifth semester, but to my surprise, he mentioned that I wasn’t the love of his life.
Maybe because I didn’t even think that could be a response, I was shattered. I felt a pain that couldn’t be explained and with every passing moment, I had this terrific realisation that my dreams will just continue being dreams and nothing more. My crazy ideas of us being together had in fact no place in the face of reality and there I was, lonely and rejected.
It took a long time to accept the truth that he doesn’t have any feelings for me and in this journey, I realised this was neither the end nor was it even such a big deal. I understood that it was just my presumptions and misunderstandings that lead to this bitter spot in my life.
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At the same time, I also realised that this clown who clearly knew the vibe between us for about two years never even took a moment to clarify it. However, he had the audacity to tell me, “You are just a good friend to me and have always been since the beginning.” After going through the cycle of rejection that was absolutely unnecessary now that I think of it, I got to know that my hero had his eye on another classmate of mine for a while now. They shared a vibe apparently. It was no secret that she had her own appeal but so did I. But for some reason, she attracted him. The same person who stood before me now had actually ended up proposing to her just a month ago and got a reality check when she just called him a brother. Now somehow, he stood before me as if nothing happened and plucked a budding sunflower from one of the pots on either side of the corridor before saying, “I’m sorry for not respecting our bond and I truly wish to take care of you…” |
Cover Photo by Chethana Nagulapalli
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Maybe there was a part of him that just wished, I would say, “I don’t care about what happened and all I want is to be with you from now and forever.”
Looking at me staying silent, he acknowledged, “I gave my heart to a heartless person who never understood me in life. She made me realise your worth and how much you truly mean.”
His statement made me realise I had to now give him my best and I just couldn’t help but be baffled by the way he considered me as an object.
On that sunny afternoon, as the hot air filled the space between us, relishing the scene with a smile, I replied, “Fuck off, jackass!”
And God, nothing ever felt sweeter.
Looking at me staying silent, he acknowledged, “I gave my heart to a heartless person who never understood me in life. She made me realise your worth and how much you truly mean.”
His statement made me realise I had to now give him my best and I just couldn’t help but be baffled by the way he considered me as an object.
On that sunny afternoon, as the hot air filled the space between us, relishing the scene with a smile, I replied, “Fuck off, jackass!”
And God, nothing ever felt sweeter.
Her Resolute
Cover Photo by Ravindra Patoju
Quite often, it isn’t easy to cherish the present, but even when it is, many of us are rather stuck in the past or are speculating an uncertain future. The simple realisation to live in the present isn’t apprehended until a well-wisher pulls us out of the memories and insecurities.
“Her Resolute” by Pooja Jonnalagadda tells the story of Anjali, who is consumed by pain so much that happiness is nowhere to be found until one day. Find out what happened.
“Her Resolute” by Pooja Jonnalagadda tells the story of Anjali, who is consumed by pain so much that happiness is nowhere to be found until one day. Find out what happened.
Sipping the hot coffee as tears rolled down her cheeks, Anjali tucked a few strands of hair behind her ear while thinking about how her father kinda predicted her future years ago. When she introduced Anil to her family, she thought nothing about him could lead to rejection but she never anticipated that they would reject him based on astrology. She recalled her disbelief when they declared that he wouldn’t survive even a couple of years if they got married but nevertheless, they did. Now, on a Sunday morning, Anjali was reliving her past all alone in a dark, double bedroom apartment.
Whenever she didn’t work, Anjali would stare at the dark sky at night or the white ceiling in the mornings while trying to accept the reality that her ill fate had snatched away her future from her. At times, her friends from work visited her and except for them, there was nobody she had now. No calls, texts, or visitors. Only doctor appointments and the cook who brought her food every day.
One day, Anjali heard a lot of disturbance while she was working from home. When she opened her door, she could see men shifting things. She soon saw a sweet couple walking towards her, holding hands.
With a smile, the lady said, “Hey there! I’m Siri and this is my husband Venkat. We bought your neighbouring house recently. So sorry if the movers were too loud.”
With a soft smile, Anjali replied, “Hey! I just got curious. They were not too loud and welcome to the community!”
Noticing Anjali’s baby bump, Venkat asked, “When are you expecting?”
Anjali perceived a sense of pain in Siri’s eyes and hesitantly answered, “In eight weeks...”
Cheering herself up, Siri replied, “Take good care sister and don’t forget to reach out whenever you need any help. Don’t even think twice.”
Bidding goodbye, Anjali got back to her work and later that night, when the cold breeze gave her chills, she sat near the window looking at the sky and thought she might have held Anil’s hand just like Siri held her husband’s hand. If only Anil was not taken from her through that unfortunate accident.
In the next few weeks, Anjali and Siri spoke often and as their bond grew, both of them started sharing their past. Siri told her how she and her husband were delighted when she got pregnant about a year ago. However, soon, she continued with her eyes filled with tears, as to how she had a miscarriage.
Her experience struck Anjali and in the following week, she opened up to Siri by telling her about her marriage. She told her how their marriage made both the families reject them and then how an unfortunate accident killed the man whom she hoped to spend her entire life with. Though Anjali felt a lot of pain reliving the experience, Siri was very supportive and hoped her friend would finally get closure talking to someone about her haunting past.
Both women were dealing with their own losses that the other hadn’t experienced. However, Siri still had a life partner to help her deal with her pain. Sensing the void that Anjali must be feeling, one day while having coffee together in the evening, Siri hesitantly asked, “I’m not sure if I should ask this question but I would like to know if you intend to ever get married again?”
They sat silent for a moment before Anjali replied, “I don’t have any intentions to marry anyone else, Siri. Why do you ask?”
Her answer made Siri even tenser. She didn’t know if their bond was strong enough to have such a discussion yet but not giving up, Siri said, “Ever since we have moved here, I have always seen you being gloomy and depressed.”
While Anjali thought she told her what happened, Siri continued, “I know you have lost everyone who cared for you but I’m sure after knowing a few things, I must tell you to experience the pleasure of holding a baby within you.”
Holding her hand, Siri said, “I don’t want you to relive your past every passing moment while forgetting to live a moment that might never happen again. I’m certain, Anil would want you to do that.”
Out of the numerous conversations they had, this is the first time Siri made Anjali realise how beautiful and powerful it was to carry life within her. Hoping to be a mother someday and having had a miscarriage, Siri knew the feeling more than anyone else.
That night, Anjali thought about what Siri said. Looking at the dark sky, she recalled how Anil always spoke to her about living in the present. She recalled the time when they deliberated over whether they should get married or not, Anil straight-out said, “I will not leave you based on a speculative future.”
When he got to know that Anjali was pregnant, the first thing he said was, “Please let her be a little demoness like me and both of us will never stop teasing you.”
Thinking about it, again and again, Anjali realised that she needs to accept the past and grow beyond it. With a new addition coming into her life soon, she realised that she shouldn’t regret anymore about not listening to her parents because her loss was not because of predictions. For once, she told herself, she shouldn’t let the past hold her or fate beat her down. Instead, she should cherish her present while always continuing to love her first and only love.
No matter how things kept on falling apart in her journey, she promised Anil that their souls will be together forever and in this new beginning, for his loss might have left her lonely but not alone. She resolved to be grateful for every passing moment and hoped to live life filled with love and hope while being wrapped in positivity!
Whenever she didn’t work, Anjali would stare at the dark sky at night or the white ceiling in the mornings while trying to accept the reality that her ill fate had snatched away her future from her. At times, her friends from work visited her and except for them, there was nobody she had now. No calls, texts, or visitors. Only doctor appointments and the cook who brought her food every day.
One day, Anjali heard a lot of disturbance while she was working from home. When she opened her door, she could see men shifting things. She soon saw a sweet couple walking towards her, holding hands.
With a smile, the lady said, “Hey there! I’m Siri and this is my husband Venkat. We bought your neighbouring house recently. So sorry if the movers were too loud.”
With a soft smile, Anjali replied, “Hey! I just got curious. They were not too loud and welcome to the community!”
Noticing Anjali’s baby bump, Venkat asked, “When are you expecting?”
Anjali perceived a sense of pain in Siri’s eyes and hesitantly answered, “In eight weeks...”
Cheering herself up, Siri replied, “Take good care sister and don’t forget to reach out whenever you need any help. Don’t even think twice.”
Bidding goodbye, Anjali got back to her work and later that night, when the cold breeze gave her chills, she sat near the window looking at the sky and thought she might have held Anil’s hand just like Siri held her husband’s hand. If only Anil was not taken from her through that unfortunate accident.
In the next few weeks, Anjali and Siri spoke often and as their bond grew, both of them started sharing their past. Siri told her how she and her husband were delighted when she got pregnant about a year ago. However, soon, she continued with her eyes filled with tears, as to how she had a miscarriage.
Her experience struck Anjali and in the following week, she opened up to Siri by telling her about her marriage. She told her how their marriage made both the families reject them and then how an unfortunate accident killed the man whom she hoped to spend her entire life with. Though Anjali felt a lot of pain reliving the experience, Siri was very supportive and hoped her friend would finally get closure talking to someone about her haunting past.
Both women were dealing with their own losses that the other hadn’t experienced. However, Siri still had a life partner to help her deal with her pain. Sensing the void that Anjali must be feeling, one day while having coffee together in the evening, Siri hesitantly asked, “I’m not sure if I should ask this question but I would like to know if you intend to ever get married again?”
They sat silent for a moment before Anjali replied, “I don’t have any intentions to marry anyone else, Siri. Why do you ask?”
Her answer made Siri even tenser. She didn’t know if their bond was strong enough to have such a discussion yet but not giving up, Siri said, “Ever since we have moved here, I have always seen you being gloomy and depressed.”
While Anjali thought she told her what happened, Siri continued, “I know you have lost everyone who cared for you but I’m sure after knowing a few things, I must tell you to experience the pleasure of holding a baby within you.”
Holding her hand, Siri said, “I don’t want you to relive your past every passing moment while forgetting to live a moment that might never happen again. I’m certain, Anil would want you to do that.”
Out of the numerous conversations they had, this is the first time Siri made Anjali realise how beautiful and powerful it was to carry life within her. Hoping to be a mother someday and having had a miscarriage, Siri knew the feeling more than anyone else.
That night, Anjali thought about what Siri said. Looking at the dark sky, she recalled how Anil always spoke to her about living in the present. She recalled the time when they deliberated over whether they should get married or not, Anil straight-out said, “I will not leave you based on a speculative future.”
When he got to know that Anjali was pregnant, the first thing he said was, “Please let her be a little demoness like me and both of us will never stop teasing you.”
Thinking about it, again and again, Anjali realised that she needs to accept the past and grow beyond it. With a new addition coming into her life soon, she realised that she shouldn’t regret anymore about not listening to her parents because her loss was not because of predictions. For once, she told herself, she shouldn’t let the past hold her or fate beat her down. Instead, she should cherish her present while always continuing to love her first and only love.
No matter how things kept on falling apart in her journey, she promised Anil that their souls will be together forever and in this new beginning, for his loss might have left her lonely but not alone. She resolved to be grateful for every passing moment and hoped to live life filled with love and hope while being wrapped in positivity!
Immortality
Illustrated by Nisha Yadav
Long ago in the kingdom of Shantam, King Utham decides to crown both his twins as his successors instead of picking one of them to rule. While the first brother is contented with what he has been given, the second brother craves desires that are beyond his reach and power. In order to fulfil his desire, the second brother takes up a voyage against everyone’s advice.
Read R. S. Chintalapati’s kids story “Immortality” to know why setting unattainable goals and seeking personal desires isn’t a wise idea. The flash fiction shows even after giving ones best, a quest with the wrong desire leads to catastrophic conclusions.
Read R. S. Chintalapati’s kids story “Immortality” to know why setting unattainable goals and seeking personal desires isn’t a wise idea. The flash fiction shows even after giving ones best, a quest with the wrong desire leads to catastrophic conclusions.
The kingdom of Shantam was perhaps the only kingdom in the world ruled by twins. Unable to decide who should be given the right to rule, King Utham, instructed his sons Chitram and Vichitram to rule together rather than dividing the kingdom. Of the brothers, Vichitram was ambitious and wanted to conquer the entire known world. However, even he knew that it wouldn’t be possible to do so in a single lifetime.
So he sought a few of his preferred scholars to find a solution. From them, he got to know that there is an island named Amrutham at the edge of the world where there is a lake filled with the elixir for immortality. One drop from this lake of milk which tasted like honey could make anyone immortal by giving them a chain. As long as they wore the chain, these mortals were meant to be immortal and invincible.
Finding the map to reach the island with the help of the same scholars, Vichitram gave his brother the complete authority to rule Shantam and prepared to set sail along with one hundred men. Even after Chitram, the former king and queen, priests, councillors and a lot of commoners pleaded with Vichitram not to travel since such a pursuit which was against the laws of nature wouldn’t be fruitful; Vichitram neglected them. His brother even pointed out the fact that two kings from the past who set sail to this island never returned. However, the more people opposed his voyage, the more Vichitram rushed towards it thinking he was getting near to his dream.
After setting sail, Vichitram and his men had no trouble for a long time until they reached the Sea of Nightmares. During their time in this sea, none of them could sleep and even if they tried to take a nap feeling exhausted, they would begin to experience their worst fears coming true. Living in that hell for a fortnight, the men passed the sea and once they crossed it, none of them could control their sleep anymore.
When their guards were down one night, a big octopus called ‘Rakhta’ broke both the ships and as men drowned into the dark ocean, sharks feasted on them. The next morning, Vichitram woke up to see the Sunshine and he was on the coast of Amrutham. He could only see fifteen of his men were still alive while the rest floated in the sea.
Thanking Yama for not taking him to his home, Vichitram recalled how the scholars mentioned that they would have to solve a couple of quests before reaching the lake. Presuming the first was the sea and the second was the monster, Vichitram prayed to the Lord of Death before stepping forward to see the Golden Gate that touched the sky. He walked along with the others towards the gate that was built by the Gods themselves, to see an imprint that read, “Only the beautiful voice that could impress Lord Indra can open these doors.”
Even when most of them knew how to sing, neither Vichitram nor his men could sing to impress the great Lord Indra. So the King looked around to notice a parrot sitting on one of the trees before the wall that parted them from the lake. Approaching, Vichitram requested him to sing a beautiful song. The parrot asked, “I’ll say a few lines which will open the doors but what will you offer in return?”
Vichitram promised that when he returned immortal, he shall take the parrot to his kingdom and give him the comfort that he has never seen in his lifetime. Convinced with the offer, the parrot said, “Oh Mighty Lord, once there lived a king who was young and charming. Blessed was he with a fortune but desire never stopped him. He wanted more and more until there was nothing. One day he knew about an immortal lake and when he tasted it, he returned to absolutely nothing!”
When the parrot finished, the golden gates opened. Thanking him, Vichitram entered along with his men. The moment they stepped in, poisonous creepers got hold of everyone and only those soldiers who still had their swords could proceed while the rest of them died.
After passing the creepers, Vichitram was left with five soldiers. Not one of them was left unpoisoned but to their relief, they were only two steps from the lake. Before them was a sign that said, “Only containers made of bone could hold the elixir!”
Not believing in it, Vichitram took off his armour and bent it in the form of a bowl before dipping it into the late. He could see that the metal just melted as soon as it touched the white milk. Before he could even turn back, he heard his soldiers’ swords clashing.
Though they just needed one dead soldier, they fought to the last man standing. It seemed like the surviving men’s thoughts were poisoned too. After all of them passed, Vichitram killed the last one and took a scalp and dipped it into the lake.
When he tasted the cold and sweet milk, it felt like heaven for a moment. He had tasted nothing like it in the past and within moments, he regained all of his strength and a chain of three jewels formed around his neck. Noticing the ruby, sapphire and emerald, Vichitram started to shout, “I will conquer the whole world!”
As his voice echoed, the golden gates started to close. Even though the all-powerful King ran to the best of his ability, the creepers held his feet making him collapse before dragging him back. As he lay on the ground noticing the closing door, Vichitram heard the parrot say, “Another Immortal King caged!”
The moment the doors closed, Vichitram could neither see nor feel his sword or creepers. When he stood up, neither the dead soldiers nor the lake was present. All he could see were two skeletons with a chain each and a sword before him. Presuming those were the former immortal kings his brother had told him about, Vichitram just smiled, gazing at the sword.
So he sought a few of his preferred scholars to find a solution. From them, he got to know that there is an island named Amrutham at the edge of the world where there is a lake filled with the elixir for immortality. One drop from this lake of milk which tasted like honey could make anyone immortal by giving them a chain. As long as they wore the chain, these mortals were meant to be immortal and invincible.
Finding the map to reach the island with the help of the same scholars, Vichitram gave his brother the complete authority to rule Shantam and prepared to set sail along with one hundred men. Even after Chitram, the former king and queen, priests, councillors and a lot of commoners pleaded with Vichitram not to travel since such a pursuit which was against the laws of nature wouldn’t be fruitful; Vichitram neglected them. His brother even pointed out the fact that two kings from the past who set sail to this island never returned. However, the more people opposed his voyage, the more Vichitram rushed towards it thinking he was getting near to his dream.
After setting sail, Vichitram and his men had no trouble for a long time until they reached the Sea of Nightmares. During their time in this sea, none of them could sleep and even if they tried to take a nap feeling exhausted, they would begin to experience their worst fears coming true. Living in that hell for a fortnight, the men passed the sea and once they crossed it, none of them could control their sleep anymore.
When their guards were down one night, a big octopus called ‘Rakhta’ broke both the ships and as men drowned into the dark ocean, sharks feasted on them. The next morning, Vichitram woke up to see the Sunshine and he was on the coast of Amrutham. He could only see fifteen of his men were still alive while the rest floated in the sea.
Thanking Yama for not taking him to his home, Vichitram recalled how the scholars mentioned that they would have to solve a couple of quests before reaching the lake. Presuming the first was the sea and the second was the monster, Vichitram prayed to the Lord of Death before stepping forward to see the Golden Gate that touched the sky. He walked along with the others towards the gate that was built by the Gods themselves, to see an imprint that read, “Only the beautiful voice that could impress Lord Indra can open these doors.”
Even when most of them knew how to sing, neither Vichitram nor his men could sing to impress the great Lord Indra. So the King looked around to notice a parrot sitting on one of the trees before the wall that parted them from the lake. Approaching, Vichitram requested him to sing a beautiful song. The parrot asked, “I’ll say a few lines which will open the doors but what will you offer in return?”
Vichitram promised that when he returned immortal, he shall take the parrot to his kingdom and give him the comfort that he has never seen in his lifetime. Convinced with the offer, the parrot said, “Oh Mighty Lord, once there lived a king who was young and charming. Blessed was he with a fortune but desire never stopped him. He wanted more and more until there was nothing. One day he knew about an immortal lake and when he tasted it, he returned to absolutely nothing!”
When the parrot finished, the golden gates opened. Thanking him, Vichitram entered along with his men. The moment they stepped in, poisonous creepers got hold of everyone and only those soldiers who still had their swords could proceed while the rest of them died.
After passing the creepers, Vichitram was left with five soldiers. Not one of them was left unpoisoned but to their relief, they were only two steps from the lake. Before them was a sign that said, “Only containers made of bone could hold the elixir!”
Not believing in it, Vichitram took off his armour and bent it in the form of a bowl before dipping it into the late. He could see that the metal just melted as soon as it touched the white milk. Before he could even turn back, he heard his soldiers’ swords clashing.
Though they just needed one dead soldier, they fought to the last man standing. It seemed like the surviving men’s thoughts were poisoned too. After all of them passed, Vichitram killed the last one and took a scalp and dipped it into the lake.
When he tasted the cold and sweet milk, it felt like heaven for a moment. He had tasted nothing like it in the past and within moments, he regained all of his strength and a chain of three jewels formed around his neck. Noticing the ruby, sapphire and emerald, Vichitram started to shout, “I will conquer the whole world!”
As his voice echoed, the golden gates started to close. Even though the all-powerful King ran to the best of his ability, the creepers held his feet making him collapse before dragging him back. As he lay on the ground noticing the closing door, Vichitram heard the parrot say, “Another Immortal King caged!”
The moment the doors closed, Vichitram could neither see nor feel his sword or creepers. When he stood up, neither the dead soldiers nor the lake was present. All he could see were two skeletons with a chain each and a sword before him. Presuming those were the former immortal kings his brother had told him about, Vichitram just smiled, gazing at the sword.
Omniseeker
Cover Photo by Nikhil Narayanasa
Filled with an insane desire to meet the devil, a middle-aged man nicknamed Omniseeker is suggested to visit a place called the Child’s Wail. A fancy name for a burnt orphanage. For once, it is not a hoax.
“Omniseeker” by R. S. Chintalapati explores the story of a deviously desired man who meets a bitter end seeking a being that is nothing more than a side within mortals.
“Omniseeker” by R. S. Chintalapati explores the story of a deviously desired man who meets a bitter end seeking a being that is nothing more than a side within mortals.
There I was, at last, the place where the devil indeed resided. They called me the Omniseeker, the nickname I have earned, searching everywhere to find the devil. I dug graves, sealed dead bodies without burial, performed black magic and even donated myself to be possessed, but nothing worked. The nemesis of the divine never greeted me. Everywhere I went, it hid in the darkness until I met an older man after burying a dead body in the nearby forest one day.
This older man, who decided to waste his last few years meditating, heard my desire and adored my passion. He told me to visit an abandoned orphanage called the Child’s Wail and promised me the devil awaited for everyone. It was nothing but a fancy name for a burnt orphanage that killed more than thirty children, and now the place is abandoned because visitors heard a child crying every night. I suspected it to be nothing more than a hoax from what I had seen.
So here I am standing before the burnt two-storage building covered in darkness while being pointed the way by the moonlight. The building was undoubtedly haunting, but I heard no calls so far. Approaching the nearly open door, I entered the pitch dark home to witness the magnificent evil that not only shows itself to some but calls to everyone who visits her.
The air smelt of burnt flesh, and beneath my boot, I could feel the bones of animals and humans alike. For once, I couldn’t control my excitement. After nearly spending years searching for the evil, here I was, a few steps from it. Covering my nose, I slowly paced forward before turning on the red light I carried everywhere, and for about a while, I heard nothing until I heard a child cry faintly from the first floor.
A smile appeared on my face, and pointing the light ahead, I took the stairs listening to the cry. With every step, the cry faintly disappeared, and when I reached the first floor, I saw a child who looked no older than ten, weeping, surrounded by dead bodies half-eaten.
Looking at me, the child calmly asked, “Can you please help me leave?”
Observing the carcasses, I asked, “Who is holding you?”
Looking at me as blood tears slipped on her cheeks, the child, in a shrill voice, replied, “The Devil!”
With a broad smile, I asked, “Where is this devil?”
As she stayed silent, looking into her completely white eyes, I asked, “I want to meet this devil.”
The child replied, “It’s within me. It made me burn this home with my friends in it and it feeds on them through me.”
Reaching the child by stepping on the half-eaten bodies, I finally saw the child’s face before I asked her, “Can you show her to me?”
Gawking at me, the child curiously asked, “Do you really want to see the devil, Omniseeker?”
Noticing me for a moment, the child opened her mouth filled with teeth like needles before saying, “I’m the devil, you fool!”
That was the last line I heard before being knocked down. However, I lived the next fortnight devoured one piece at a time every night by being punched by a thousand needles every bite.
This older man, who decided to waste his last few years meditating, heard my desire and adored my passion. He told me to visit an abandoned orphanage called the Child’s Wail and promised me the devil awaited for everyone. It was nothing but a fancy name for a burnt orphanage that killed more than thirty children, and now the place is abandoned because visitors heard a child crying every night. I suspected it to be nothing more than a hoax from what I had seen.
So here I am standing before the burnt two-storage building covered in darkness while being pointed the way by the moonlight. The building was undoubtedly haunting, but I heard no calls so far. Approaching the nearly open door, I entered the pitch dark home to witness the magnificent evil that not only shows itself to some but calls to everyone who visits her.
The air smelt of burnt flesh, and beneath my boot, I could feel the bones of animals and humans alike. For once, I couldn’t control my excitement. After nearly spending years searching for the evil, here I was, a few steps from it. Covering my nose, I slowly paced forward before turning on the red light I carried everywhere, and for about a while, I heard nothing until I heard a child cry faintly from the first floor.
A smile appeared on my face, and pointing the light ahead, I took the stairs listening to the cry. With every step, the cry faintly disappeared, and when I reached the first floor, I saw a child who looked no older than ten, weeping, surrounded by dead bodies half-eaten.
Looking at me, the child calmly asked, “Can you please help me leave?”
Observing the carcasses, I asked, “Who is holding you?”
Looking at me as blood tears slipped on her cheeks, the child, in a shrill voice, replied, “The Devil!”
With a broad smile, I asked, “Where is this devil?”
As she stayed silent, looking into her completely white eyes, I asked, “I want to meet this devil.”
The child replied, “It’s within me. It made me burn this home with my friends in it and it feeds on them through me.”
Reaching the child by stepping on the half-eaten bodies, I finally saw the child’s face before I asked her, “Can you show her to me?”
Gawking at me, the child curiously asked, “Do you really want to see the devil, Omniseeker?”
Noticing me for a moment, the child opened her mouth filled with teeth like needles before saying, “I’m the devil, you fool!”
That was the last line I heard before being knocked down. However, I lived the next fortnight devoured one piece at a time every night by being punched by a thousand needles every bite.
Passing Clouds
Cover Photo by Pankaj Tottada
Many of us lose our friends and family every passing day, but not all of us try to completely wipe our memories clean, considering most of them to be nothing more than passing clouds, in fear of being sunk in sorrow. Rather, we cherish our encounters, encapsulate our emotions and remember them.
“Passing Clouds” by Chethana Nagulapalli shows how terribly a few of us are trying our best to wipe our memories clean in the pursuit of keeping ourselves happy and what it means when one realises the insignificance of some relationships.
“Passing Clouds” by Chethana Nagulapalli shows how terribly a few of us are trying our best to wipe our memories clean in the pursuit of keeping ourselves happy and what it means when one realises the insignificance of some relationships.
It’s been more than two years since he passed away and not a moment passes by without recalling memories of him. They say we are rarely gifted with a perfect partner. I was until God took him away and now, the past feels nothing short of a dream that never happened.
Staring at the cloudy sky that drizzled through the window as we rushed home on a train, I thought about the time we first met, under a lovely tree covered by the unending bright blue blanket of the sky with white cotton clouds in the background.
He was a gentleman and understood me unlike anyone else. We had been together for four years before our families agreed and we got married. Everything was picture-perfect until his car crashed and so did my life.
Calling out to me by my name, my sister who is five years younger than me asked, “Do you want to give him a shot?”
Less than a year after the accident, my father vowed to get me married using all his power. In the beginning, it felt as if he cared and really wanted me to be happy but as time passed, it became more evident that he not only feared me being alone but also started to think of me as a burden to bear. Supporting him stands my mother, to whom being individual and independent seems either short-lived or unacceptable. I honestly don’t understand and I don’t care.
Then comes my sister, who is in such a rush to get married and settle down with no idea as to what she will do next. The little champ perceives marriage as a goal rather than inception. Now, I’m supposed to marry a guy whose first marriage didn’t work, only to pave the way for her. To piss my father even more than he already is, my mother declared she wouldn’t get my sister married until I’m remarried.
Staring at her with a tired expression on my face, I didn’t answer. Looking around, she said, “Have you ever noticed how we can compare the train to our life, sister?”
Presuming a sermon is on the way, I continued my silence as she continued, “If we perceive the passengers as people we meet in life, as much as we like the journey and our companions, sister, the journey will eventually end and we must bid goodbyes. Clinging onto the train might take us back, but the journey is done.”
And then, she added something that I will never forget, “Unfortunately, you were married to a passing cloud sister. Do not cling on to him. There is so much more to explore and live!”
I know, almost all of them who give me their enlightenment, do it in the hope to help me move on in life, but the way they do it is just awful. Sometimes I wonder, if it was me who died, would everyone I know also perceive me as a passing cloud in their lives and forget me as soon as it’s convenient? I agree, being stuck like me isn’t ideal, but categorising everyone as passing clouds with no sort of emotion or memory after their demise isn’t just bad, but also terrifying.
For good or bad, the least we can do is to honour them in our memories. I understand individuals strive to be happy but it shouldn’t be at the expense of not having enough strength to even bear the loss of a person. It is disrespectful to pretend that they were insignificant to keep ourselves optimistic. As much as I wanted to say this, I knew her young mind was not in any position to listen to my point.
Pondering over her question and her perspective for a moment, I thought, by her logic, how does it even matter if it is this guy or some other guy! I simply replied, “Yes.”
Honestly, I no longer have any preference except for the hope that he is good in terms of his character and in the process, I would make my family happy too. This was what they have been waiting for and at last, I would rather give it to them, to not only make them happy but also to stop getting life lessons from my kiddo sister. Apparently, I feel I’m nothing more than a passing cloud to them too.
Staring at the cloudy sky that drizzled through the window as we rushed home on a train, I thought about the time we first met, under a lovely tree covered by the unending bright blue blanket of the sky with white cotton clouds in the background.
He was a gentleman and understood me unlike anyone else. We had been together for four years before our families agreed and we got married. Everything was picture-perfect until his car crashed and so did my life.
Calling out to me by my name, my sister who is five years younger than me asked, “Do you want to give him a shot?”
Less than a year after the accident, my father vowed to get me married using all his power. In the beginning, it felt as if he cared and really wanted me to be happy but as time passed, it became more evident that he not only feared me being alone but also started to think of me as a burden to bear. Supporting him stands my mother, to whom being individual and independent seems either short-lived or unacceptable. I honestly don’t understand and I don’t care.
Then comes my sister, who is in such a rush to get married and settle down with no idea as to what she will do next. The little champ perceives marriage as a goal rather than inception. Now, I’m supposed to marry a guy whose first marriage didn’t work, only to pave the way for her. To piss my father even more than he already is, my mother declared she wouldn’t get my sister married until I’m remarried.
Staring at her with a tired expression on my face, I didn’t answer. Looking around, she said, “Have you ever noticed how we can compare the train to our life, sister?”
Presuming a sermon is on the way, I continued my silence as she continued, “If we perceive the passengers as people we meet in life, as much as we like the journey and our companions, sister, the journey will eventually end and we must bid goodbyes. Clinging onto the train might take us back, but the journey is done.”
And then, she added something that I will never forget, “Unfortunately, you were married to a passing cloud sister. Do not cling on to him. There is so much more to explore and live!”
I know, almost all of them who give me their enlightenment, do it in the hope to help me move on in life, but the way they do it is just awful. Sometimes I wonder, if it was me who died, would everyone I know also perceive me as a passing cloud in their lives and forget me as soon as it’s convenient? I agree, being stuck like me isn’t ideal, but categorising everyone as passing clouds with no sort of emotion or memory after their demise isn’t just bad, but also terrifying.
For good or bad, the least we can do is to honour them in our memories. I understand individuals strive to be happy but it shouldn’t be at the expense of not having enough strength to even bear the loss of a person. It is disrespectful to pretend that they were insignificant to keep ourselves optimistic. As much as I wanted to say this, I knew her young mind was not in any position to listen to my point.
Pondering over her question and her perspective for a moment, I thought, by her logic, how does it even matter if it is this guy or some other guy! I simply replied, “Yes.”
Honestly, I no longer have any preference except for the hope that he is good in terms of his character and in the process, I would make my family happy too. This was what they have been waiting for and at last, I would rather give it to them, to not only make them happy but also to stop getting life lessons from my kiddo sister. Apparently, I feel I’m nothing more than a passing cloud to them too.
Ritu’s Favourite Teddy
Cover Photo by Ravindra Patoju
Children adore their parents’ affection and at times, their innocence makes them struggle as they try to comprehend why they are no longer receiving their parents’ undivided affection.
“Ritu’s Favorite Teddy” by Maneesha Pujari reflects the consequence of a decision taken by a mother in order to secure their child’s future.
“Ritu’s Favorite Teddy” by Maneesha Pujari reflects the consequence of a decision taken by a mother in order to secure their child’s future.
I woke up as my smartwatch vibrated indicating the alarm. I tried double tapping it in an attempt to turn it off but my effort didn’t payback. Giving up, I woke up and sleepwalked to the window near my bed. The sound of water dripping from clouds felt refreshing as the cold breeze tickled me.
I wished it was weekend today so that I could stay back and enjoy these little pleasures; the earthy smell of rain, the rhythmic pitter-patters with a cup of hot coffee.
Like a rejection of my wish, a sudden shrill of Rihanna’s ‘Work’ came from my phone. Peering towards the phone, I hesitantly picked up Arun’s wakeup call.
“You woke up buddy?” he asked.
While I replied, “Yes.”
He continued, “Okay, start early then! It’s raining and you could get late due to a surge in traffic. See you at the office.”
Before I could even respond, he had hung up.
I quickly rushed to the main door only to realize that the road in front of our porch is fully covered with water. I collected the newspaper which was dropped outside the main door and rushed to the kitchen to prepare breakfast.
The kitchen was all messy with a lot of unwashed utensils in the sink. I cursed myself for skipping the task of cleaning the dishes last night. Letting them wait a little while longer, I went to Ritu’s room to check if she had woken up.
As soon as I entered her room, I could see her sleeping with her curly hair loose in her minion printed night suit while holding her new teddy bear. Looking around, I could see all her toys and Peppa Pig books lying on the floor.
After arranging all of her books in a two feet height rack and placing her toys in the mesh-hanger, I could see the Sun paying a visit after the early morning showers. In an attempt to not let the rays disturb Ritu, I closed the curtains in her room.
Though I hoped to not make noise, to my disappointment as soon as I turned around after closing the curtain, I could see Ritu sitting on her bed, with a puzzled expression. Taking her in my arms, I asked while caressing her forehead, “Why did my Ritu wake up early today?”
She closed her eyes and placed her head on my shoulder. There was no reply and I was concerned. Her gloomy face said something was wrong and as usual, I took her to the garden in the backyard where she spent most of her time playing; with a hope that it might boost her mood.
As we stepped out to walk into the wet garden, Ritu turned to me before saying, “Momma, I saw...”
Holding her face between my hands, I curiously asked, “My sweetling, what is it?”
As I felt her cold face, Ritu replied, “I saw Papa but when I opened my eyes, he was not by my side. Why is he not beside me?”
While I was bereft of speech, she said, “I am bored without him.”
It was just a week ago that her dad had left for his onsite project and Ritu was already missing him. I cursed myself for insisting that he signed the new project agreement. Had I anticipated the impact it would have on our baby girl, I wouldn’t have. I walked back into the home to video-call him even though he would have already slept.
I wish the next few weeks roll by soon and Ritu hugs her favourite teddy as soon as possible.
I wished it was weekend today so that I could stay back and enjoy these little pleasures; the earthy smell of rain, the rhythmic pitter-patters with a cup of hot coffee.
Like a rejection of my wish, a sudden shrill of Rihanna’s ‘Work’ came from my phone. Peering towards the phone, I hesitantly picked up Arun’s wakeup call.
“You woke up buddy?” he asked.
While I replied, “Yes.”
He continued, “Okay, start early then! It’s raining and you could get late due to a surge in traffic. See you at the office.”
Before I could even respond, he had hung up.
I quickly rushed to the main door only to realize that the road in front of our porch is fully covered with water. I collected the newspaper which was dropped outside the main door and rushed to the kitchen to prepare breakfast.
The kitchen was all messy with a lot of unwashed utensils in the sink. I cursed myself for skipping the task of cleaning the dishes last night. Letting them wait a little while longer, I went to Ritu’s room to check if she had woken up.
As soon as I entered her room, I could see her sleeping with her curly hair loose in her minion printed night suit while holding her new teddy bear. Looking around, I could see all her toys and Peppa Pig books lying on the floor.
After arranging all of her books in a two feet height rack and placing her toys in the mesh-hanger, I could see the Sun paying a visit after the early morning showers. In an attempt to not let the rays disturb Ritu, I closed the curtains in her room.
Though I hoped to not make noise, to my disappointment as soon as I turned around after closing the curtain, I could see Ritu sitting on her bed, with a puzzled expression. Taking her in my arms, I asked while caressing her forehead, “Why did my Ritu wake up early today?”
She closed her eyes and placed her head on my shoulder. There was no reply and I was concerned. Her gloomy face said something was wrong and as usual, I took her to the garden in the backyard where she spent most of her time playing; with a hope that it might boost her mood.
As we stepped out to walk into the wet garden, Ritu turned to me before saying, “Momma, I saw...”
Holding her face between my hands, I curiously asked, “My sweetling, what is it?”
As I felt her cold face, Ritu replied, “I saw Papa but when I opened my eyes, he was not by my side. Why is he not beside me?”
While I was bereft of speech, she said, “I am bored without him.”
It was just a week ago that her dad had left for his onsite project and Ritu was already missing him. I cursed myself for insisting that he signed the new project agreement. Had I anticipated the impact it would have on our baby girl, I wouldn’t have. I walked back into the home to video-call him even though he would have already slept.
I wish the next few weeks roll by soon and Ritu hugs her favourite teddy as soon as possible.
The Stance
As so-called grown-ups, most of us build expectations on ourselves filled with presumptions about our parents and friends. In the pursuit of living up to them, we not only forget to live as we wish or should but get carried away doing more than anything needed or expected.
“The Stance” by Gayatri Sharma explores the story of a girl who is filled in such a presumptuous thought-process that it takes her to reach the very end of the ride to realise it was in reality never expected of her.
“The Stance” by Gayatri Sharma explores the story of a girl who is filled in such a presumptuous thought-process that it takes her to reach the very end of the ride to realise it was in reality never expected of her.
Resting on the stairs that led to Ganga, Richa recalled how their chest numbers were called. Looking at the unending flow, Richa thought, “Now that you have done what you thought wouldn’t have been possible, do you have the strength to live with it?”
Listening to the water as the sunset, Richa told herself, “You should have told them the moment you lost your passion but you wanted to keep them happy…”
Coming from a family where all men served in the army, it wasn’t easy to follow some other path. For a long time, even Richa dreamed of serving her country but it was during her bachelor’s that she first felt her right knee hurt.
Presuming it might be due to lack of stamina, Richa neglected it for a while before she had to rush to a couple of doctors in order to get it diagnosed. As the pain worsened, the doctors became more clueless. Undergoing arthroscopy to find out the cause of her pain but that didn’t help except for the confirmation that the pain is caused due to the muscle atrophy in her leg and it grew weaker and weaker day by day.
Listening to the water as the sunset, Richa told herself, “You should have told them the moment you lost your passion but you wanted to keep them happy…”
Coming from a family where all men served in the army, it wasn’t easy to follow some other path. For a long time, even Richa dreamed of serving her country but it was during her bachelor’s that she first felt her right knee hurt.
Presuming it might be due to lack of stamina, Richa neglected it for a while before she had to rush to a couple of doctors in order to get it diagnosed. As the pain worsened, the doctors became more clueless. Undergoing arthroscopy to find out the cause of her pain but that didn’t help except for the confirmation that the pain is caused due to the muscle atrophy in her leg and it grew weaker and weaker day by day.
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In this journey to giving up on her defence applications year after year to first cure herself, Richa for once thought if she personally truly wanted to join the defence forces. She questioned if she should really feel sad about not applying and from there she questioned if she truly even wanted to do it. However, before long, she realised that she was living up to others expectations and wasn’t definitely doing it for herself. But she knew giving up without succeeding will make her parents judge her ability to do anything her entire life. Even her mother might give up but her father wouldn’t. So, she made up her mind to get qualified if at all that would happen then she would tell her parents. With this asinine plan instead of standing her ground, Richa continued applying as soon as she recovered and made it to the merit from Allahabad SSB Centre. Now here she was all by herself thinking how she could get out of this mess. Deep within she knew her foolishness is what brought her down in the first place but now there was nowhere else to go. Tomorrow if her father asked what she would do if not join the army, she honestly didn’t have an answer. All she knew was that this wasn’t for her. |
Illustrated by Meet Patel
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It all boiled down to one question, “Do I have the strength to truly tell my father that I don’t want to throw my life away like countless others?”
Listening to the evening prayers, she closed her eyes and the next morning, she put her acceptance letter before her father before saying, “I’m done living up to your requirement papa. I will not join the army.”
While her mother looked at her as if she was seeing a ghost, Richa continued, “Over the years my perspective to serve has changed. I’m no longer worthy...”
Looking at her sternly, her father stood up to tap on her cheek as a faint smile appeared on her face as he said, “As you wish kiddo.”
It felt unbelievable to Richa as to what she just heard. She stood there utterly shaken, realising how many presumptions she fed herself about a man who never said a word about wanting her to serve. She even thought he would claim it to be betrayal but in reality, she was always free to do what she wished for.
There was never a need to live up or act a certain way.
Listening to the evening prayers, she closed her eyes and the next morning, she put her acceptance letter before her father before saying, “I’m done living up to your requirement papa. I will not join the army.”
While her mother looked at her as if she was seeing a ghost, Richa continued, “Over the years my perspective to serve has changed. I’m no longer worthy...”
Looking at her sternly, her father stood up to tap on her cheek as a faint smile appeared on her face as he said, “As you wish kiddo.”
It felt unbelievable to Richa as to what she just heard. She stood there utterly shaken, realising how many presumptions she fed herself about a man who never said a word about wanting her to serve. She even thought he would claim it to be betrayal but in reality, she was always free to do what she wished for.
There was never a need to live up or act a certain way.
